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achingly so. “sea,” you could say
and between each crest I would see
your eyes slivers of lashes, downturned.
CRACKLING MOON VISIBLE
ON THE EASTERN SEABOARD,”
I see tick below talkshow.
here is an imagined forecast
clear skies, scattered stargazers
until dawn milks the dulcet night
sore from crystal sugar deposits
centuries accumulated in your mouth
is this shore like the moon or the horizon
do you know?) in the corners,
ruby gums, shining cavities likely
this evening when a low pressure front
locates the pliers for loosening
another dream of pearls in a whirlpool,
of the summer hail plinking windows finally
overwhelming the clatter of my falling teeth—
the weatherman I elect to be
on the drive to the windy city
removes his tie and suit to bask
in the unique dark of his childhood
until then, the spaces between
skin, sheets, the carpet fibers
and the bottom of the door
where a strip of light rests
April.i. modern sensory.
one: hoop earring shimmers
deep in the cut of city light
as she stands the chill of thin
fabrics, the other just sang
thru the slats, clinked off the top
of the subway car below her feet, passing;
day gone by in best threads
and ten triple C tablets; look
she gets from all passers-by of her
in cold, in a dress, high… the one
that increases intensity with each
wrinkle under the eye; and echoing
thought of mother, reminding how
many zeros were in the cost
of the last pair of heels daughter
stole and wore, then ruined or lost while out.
two strikes: of middle class protesters
over prime sidewalks that have led to
noteworthy deaths; of proverbial lightning
in the same underground tunnel (her golden hoop lands just feet
from the band of a man who didn’t end up
marrying his fiance, a story of similar weight
to the aforementioned [but future tense] tale
of Tanya’s, it goes like so: Jerome met Idris
at a sit-in where J wore a fitted jacket and
The Age of the Wasp.There is heavy noise
in the other room and my head
bounces full of heavy
heavy weighted things
that I wish I could tell
I know or knew. The building
feels flatter and flatter
beneath my tired shoes
and I release air with difficult
pushes out into the still gentle a/c that
tickles over my arms, a goodbye from fair
weather, a rattling doorknob. I kissed
you and then,
for a different goodbye lightly
brushed my hand on your face and neither
could have kept me warmer. I will always
be in the twilight even if the sun somehow stopped
the earth and returned me back
to June, to the hopping / hotel rooms and the / rippling island of sidewalks
and dirt paths. the secret green heart I heard shaking its
own trees against the sheet glass
only grew for a time of honeybees and its now
the age of the wasp.
I am stingers and fear in others
and myself. I die on the window
and the death at all points
afterward will need to be cleaned
Fragment 2conventional development of a memorial out of bland symbolism and a "contemporary" sensibility involving phallic steel work + endless dematerializing glass or untreated raw roman concrete like the effigy we were too self obsessed to set on fire we were saving for the long absent libido
SonarHonestly don't know
Where the Hell is
Our light house, stood up
On fallacies of rocky coasts
Awaiting night time liners.
We turn days, years over
Nights that swim thoughts
With wading tidepools
And deep ends oceans old,
Unspecific. Past points
In existence where photons whir
To silhouette Earth's tumbling
Light houses stood up like pins
At lane ends, each of us
Soon ricocheted, collapsed into
Honestly don't know
Where the light house
We eyed with curious fear
A serpent more afraid and prostrate
Than us, than its cobra raise
Or rattle might entail, a tower made
Derelict by global position
The Elderly.cover the elderly in flowers
and go ahead and give them their architecture
their hollowed fluted columns covered in vine
ivy vines and corinthian florets and vegetal
give them doors. closing and opening at their focus
and at their "remember the opening of
the memorial highway?" how they could now
borrow suzie's husband's pickup any old saturday
and be there in half the time
to the endless heaven of open marketplace
can buy anything there
in a peace of mind haven treehouse in the blood
jungles spilt nectar and flies all about
just let the elderly have the joy
infants get coming in
with comfy strollers and
expectant children. with colors
marketed to them and a shower thrown
when the date is set to celebrate
the going out, the deathday
it was not planned, but it was in course
so let the abandoned asphalt fill its cracks
with lemongrass and resilient roots
sing joy to every pillar in its rise or its fall
the presence marked until the marker's overgrown
The tough gets growingI'm knee-deep in mud,
grumbling and mumbling
about what I did
to deserve this mess
And my mother glares,
"When I planted you,
I put you deep in the dirt,
not to bury you alive,
but to teach you that
when the growing gets tough,
the tough gets growing."
pick up the slack and
pick up that slack-jawed shadow of yours
dragging on wet pavement under your soles
and hurry it along, we ain't got all day here
flex your white-boned fingers and
taut knuckles and pluck the soul from
its coffin in your slick throat
the sun has better places to be than in your sky.
Falling Back into Placei wait for wisdom
the sludge tells me
to come in
awaits, just beneath the tack
of its sticky skin
and i know
that what waits there
is more patient
eternal and hungry
but the peace
is only a skin
grow upyou say
i am weak
i have never
worked for anything
i am not sorry
i should take
the pills the doctor
i will never
know what it is to
hurt the way that you hurt,
plant me in the ground
listen to the way my nature sounds
when i turn from something black
to something luminous, proud
you turned me into a shadow, you prick
remember that? remember this?
yeah, the condom broke, you
piece of shit, at least i tried
to be careful, at least when
you cried, i kissed your
say what you want
about my judgment.
my immaturity, my general
lack of readiness for
anything. but i was good
to you, and i tried,
and i am sorry that
you hurt so much
that you can't
do it as elegantly
as i can.
you have never
learned to love
the grit: the place
where my spirit sags,
where my love
as if biology could have been any clearer,
cleaning your spit from my bedroom mirror-
i can smell your genes and
they smell fucking good to me,
but i keep telling myself,
the gardenersMy father is a good man.
His hands, dry and
callused, carry a case
of Corona Lite
to the gardeners in
Big-brimmed hats cast
shadows down their faces,
and a pile of thick,
gray gloves lies
on the glass table.
The beer looks like liquid
gold in those clear bottles,
and condensation clings
to the glass like the sweat
beading at their brows.
My father and the gardeners
drink, laughing like they’ve
known one another for years.
There is nothing
that brings men together
better than beer
on a hot day.
Our destiny is determined
Reliving the past
Enduring the suffering
Visions of the future
Endeavours to come
Representing life as a whole
9 Countenances for the Curious1.
My limbs have become instruments,
but, unlike the piano of your memories,
I am still not anyone's to play.
I think I am finite,
that the limits of me are dictated
by flesh and numbers
on an inverted scale
but the dog on my lap
doesn't care what I weigh;
she wants only
to love me and be loved.
the pain that anchors you
strains your back,
the ship of your life
is hamstrung upon a reef
and you think you are watching
a dolphin at play
but siren songs deceive you.
my ship sank beneath the waters
years ago, this bubble of life
sustains me even as i drown:
there are storms in the depths
of me, and you see only
the ocean's calm.
At 7, I swallowed stories
like candy; didn't understand
that too much leaves you bloated.
At 17, I breakfasted on books
like pancakes; too caught up
to tell (some things should be special).
At 27, I feasted on fiction
like home-cooked meals; didn't know
some of it could poison you.
At 37, I hope I will be picking
at poetry; letting the flavours
of the words
The Washed MindI have let the difficulties flood my body
From head, the worries slip to my heart
like children falling through the cracks
of some broken floor
under which is nothing besides me
My mind is melting from the inside
Swarmed by maggots and the meaningless questions:
Would my mind work better
without all these walls
stopping it from evolving?
Where did these obscene problems come from?
Surely my mind was born free
Surely my opinions exist somewhere...
Or is freedom nothing but a joke
to the true me?
So, I ate nails and needles to clear my mind
The bleeding and the pain
were both evil and refreshing
I have learned the lesson
fairy tales are the shadows on my eyes
Now my mind is clear as melting glass
running down my cold spine
washing away the sins,
violent thoughts and sorrowful memories
from the edge of my past
Singing in ColorWhen Caitlin sings,
Something in my heart just
Like a blend of
The balminess of dusk
And the coolness of dawn,
Indigo and silver mist
Come together in my mind's eye
And take the shape of
The face I know and love so well,
Haloed by the notes
Blossoming from piano keys
As her delicate fingers flit across them.
I'm never far from her embrace
If I just listen.
kringle.should i be smiling as the christmas tree shrinks?
america's sistine chapel full of fat basketball angels
absolution in six easy payments of twenty five ninety nine.
should i feel shame that jesus is in a survival backpack
for the next apocalypse? it's miniature and mother is
sharing videos of soldier presents.
drop the faithless adolescent bomb over a dead bird feast.
winter's in a dead heat with loneliness
and i'm drawing a finish line
but even sharpies fade with skin.
i'm peeling off my wrapping your gift is entrails.
sorry i don't pour water like a fountain.
hot piss on the black friday mailers.
should i be worried about should when i live in the
united states of hedonism? i am the godless one
but its easy to be a jesus freak and still listen to lil wayne.
should i try to understand the twisting that snow brings
to arthritic fingers clutching remote controls
like scepters to thrones?
Red Riding HoodI want to believe people so badly when they say they won’t bite
that I contemplate climbing into their smiling jaws
thinking that it might be better to be split in two than left hanging.
But always, I draw my red hood and flit back into the forest
running in the shadows of pathways, never stepping into clearings
because I’ve spent my whole life in the wilderness
and I still can’t tell the wolves from the woodsmen.
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